Saturday, April 19, 2014

Living Like a Caged Animal

Today I was struck by the irony of the tiger image I chose for this blog. Today I felt like a caged animal. As I lay in bed looking at the sun shining outside my bedroom window, I desperately wanted to be out enjoying it. Yet I can barely get to the kitchen to pour myself a cup of coffee.

I have accepted my fate, but...

I admit that I still struggle with this, but I am getting better. Some days are easier than others. One of the hardest things is trying not to live a selfish, self-absorbed life. That is easier said than done when it takes all the strength you have to have a conversation or even drag yourself out of bed. I feel like I should be doing more! What is that old saying?
Don't "should" yourself!
 Oh, yes, OK, now I remember.

Bloom where you are planted

This is another old saying {I seem to be full of them today}. To bloom where you are planted means to do the very best you can where ever life seems to put you. There are many things I would love to do that I simply can't do. However, there are also things that I can do - I just need to look a little harder for them. Of course, not everyone with ME-CFS has the same level of function. I'm not suggesting that you compare yourself with others and then feel all guilty and worthless {been there}. I am asking you to look for things you can do while still honoring your health needs. Here is my list thus far -
  • Phone a friend; if I'm too tired then email or text
  • Share information I discover about my illnesses
  • Share resources with my doctors so that they can help the next person like me
  • Love my husband, encourage him, look for his goodness and help him celebrate it {because we all want to do more or be more, don't we?}
  • Ensure the kitchen is clean-ish so that my husband doesn't have to deal with it in the morning {this doesn't always happen, but it is my goal}
  • Be a bright light in what can sometimes be a dark world {this is a work in progress}
Bottom line is don't EVER let this illness make you feel worthless.  Finding that silver lining can be a challenge... OK, there are days when it feels impossible. Don't give up! Let people see you for the beautiful flower or mighty oak that you are. Bring your beauty into their life. Cover them with your inner strength. Remember, it takes great courage to live well with ME-CFS. You have that strength inside you.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Are you struggling to find meaning in your life since ME-CFS showed up? Don't give up! Ask God to show you what you can do and start making your list. You could surprise yourself. If you are doing well in this area, what helped you get there?

"No one lights a lamp and puts it in a place where it will be hidden, or under a bowl. Instead he puts it on its stand, so that those who come in may see the light.   Luke 11:33

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